I've a good friend who certainly matches the definition of AFC. In his twenties, he's nevertheless a virgin, once kissed a girl (one of his proudest stories), and constantly moans about how women"always go for the douchebags who don't take care of them". But by far and away the largest thing that marks him out as a AFC to me personally is the fact that he feels continuously compelled to shield women in conditions where they are not getting any insult or threat. We predict the need to'shield' women white knight syndrome, and regrettably, I tend to meet a lot of white knights.
Once I flirt, I tend to keep my discussions hard for both parties; being accepting and jokingly insulting in equal amount. This, one evening, saw me call a girl a"drunk bitch" because she fell over and slurred her words (that this kind of language was by no way different from how me and her talked to each other). My friend, misguided because he was, felt compelled to stand up and say all in the room"Today [my title ]! That is a very rude thing to say to her" . Everyone went silent and looked at him for a moment, until the woman on the ground happily broke the silence rather beautifully by screaming"Yeah [my title ] don't be a whore!" . Normality restored. Following the party I took my friend aside and explained to him exactly what he had been doing wrong and why it made girls think that he was bizarre. It is Sexist
Our thoughts of knighthood and chivalry derive from an era where men were infinitely more powerful than girls, and consequently chivalry encouraged men to help those who were not in control of their lives. By jumping into defend a lady's'honor' now (especially without requesting her), you are making the assumption that she can't help herself.
2.
It's Creepy The very religious, and also the'nice guys'. Incidentally neither of those groups receive a lot of action outside of wedlock. By obsessing on the reputation or battles (perceived or real) of a woman who's not your close friend or lover, you are demonstrating an extremely suggestive interest in her. Be a person and show your attention .
3.
It Is Your Problem
If you are bravely leaping to the assistance of some damsel, you probably haven't stopped to think about if she discovers it to be an issue. To intervene would be to enforce your self on her, as you do not know if she discovers that which was stated offensive. In reality all it really does is tell everybody that you are uncomfortable with the term'bitch' (such as ).
Within this postmodern, cynical era, nobody stands up and directly up calls folks out on their flaws facing others. Unless you are an idiot, you do not do this by standing up and saying to the interloper"Look guy, your existence is making this woman feel uncomfortable and she is not interested in you." Even if you are right in saying something like this, you can certainly do it with much more class and more subtlety. For instance (going back into the my knight encounter ) you could simply say over the shoulder something along the lines of"Do you kiss your mom with that mouth?" And then move the dialogue on. Attempt to be slick men.
Things to do
These 3 mindset changes should help you to avoid white knight behaviour. Like the Player
One of the first things you should do is to hear what men say to women and attempt to figure out whether it is a misguided attempt at being emotional genius. Even if it's contrary to your friend or partner, excellent game is good game, and you can find out a great deal from observing prior to acting. If a guy says something that amuses your internal white knight, pause. The very first thing that you need to do is to give him respect for attempting to say something that risks a negative response. That is something that the vast majority of the societal cattle around you will never try in the course of their life.
2.
Be Edgy
On that note, you want to understand what makes a fantastic edgy line if you would like to call people out for using bad ones. Practice adding a bit of spice into your conversations: all you have to do is ask why someone thinks something, or disagree with them on a minor point, that's usually sufficient to generate a little pleasurable friction. Come to appreciate that look on a lady's face when she's snapped out of automatic conversation mode since you didn't follow http://query.nytimes.com/search/sitesearch/?action=click&contentCollection®ion=TopBar&WT.nav=searchWidget&module=SearchSubmit&pgtype=Homepage#/dating the standard routine of considerate arrangement. A dialog is much nicer when the two parties have to think about what they are saying. Like the Girls
Finally you have to realize that women are (deservedly) in charge of their lives, and that it's taken a very long time to get there. This is the very best thing that could have happened to the relationship game, as it make guys just like you and I become better people so that we're attractive to girls Additional reading (as opposed to back in the day when women were regarded as talking property, you did not have to be a terrific man back then). You have to play by these rules and accept that it is all up to the girl whether to be offended or not, and to decide if your aid is needed. Focus on your personal game buddy.